Last Day of Chemotherapy

Hello Life Savers!

We did it! We tackled six rounds of chemotherapy and 25 blasts of radiation and came out on top! I had my last day of chemotherapy and external radiation for cervical cancer and lymph nodes March 6, 2013. That was one of the best days of my life, right up there with my engagement day, my wedding day, and witnessing the birth of my nephew, Max. I was filled with joy and hope! Of course, I dressed as Wonder Woman for the occasion because I truly felt like a super hero.

Here I am with my super hero, Charlie, at radiation:

With Dr. Rad (his real name is Dr. Greenberg, but being the best radiation doctor a girl could hope for, he'll always be Dr. Rad to me) and his amazing, loving, and hilarious NP, Pam:

 With Hopi, the sweetest nurse who always cries tears of joy whenever I share stories of all of you with her:

 And with the dream team, my radiation techs Kathleen and Tim, who made it happen five days a week:

It was bittersweet leaving radiation that day. How do I thank all these wonderful people for saving my life? I love these people with all my heart and promise to spread as much joy and caring to others as they have done for me.




Off to chemo, for four or five fun-filled hours of watching IV bags empty into my veins. When I finished and walked back to the lobby I got a standing ovation from my ever-loving Charlie and my beautiful sister, Erica. What a feeling! No cameras allowed in the chemo center, but here we are in the parking lot:

Then it was off to lunch. Just to be clear, I dressed as Wonder Woman not because I feel like her most days, but because I wanted people around me to see this crazy girl and want to know my story. I want people to know that you can get through something like this and still come out strong. The whole point was to inspire others, and I got to do that all day long. What a blessing! What I didn't expect was how many cancer survivors I would meet and how much inspiration I would gain from them. Here are a some pictures of us and a few friends we made a lunch:

This woman is a 33-year survivor with her husband, a 20+ year cancer survivor:

 After lunch, I just couldn't stop the party. I know they tell you to rest, rest, rest, but my spirits were soaring, so we went to Zumba instead! Here I am with Mary, who lovingly crocheted me this teal and white blanket. Mary prayed the entire time she crocheted, and when Charlie touched the blanket for the first time he said he had a physical sensation of love flow through his body. I'm so grateful I get to wrap myself in this Love every day!

After Zumba we had a celebratory dinner then came home and I got to really express my joy with Charlie and Erica. 

I had bought six cancer awareness bracelets. Every time I'd come home from chemo I put a bracelet around a beautiful crystal rose that some of my specials students gave me. I did the same thing with 25 beads for each radiation treatment, except the beads (which are super small) went in these humungous wine glasses, so it doesn't look as impressive as it really is. Here are pictures of me putting the last bracelet on the rose and the last bead in the wine glass. These photos were captured in real time while I was pouring tears of joy, so even though I look upset I'm actually totally elated:

 Charlie was just as thrilled as I was, as you can see in these beautiful photos:

 Lastly, here I am celebrating with my wonderfully supportive sister, Erica:

Erica is technically, by IQ standards, a genius. It's so cool having a genius for a sister because I can share concerns with her and she often has an extremely relevant and helpful perspective.

About two months before I was diagnosed with cancer I woke up one morning with an overwhelming feeling that I wasn't going to be around much longer. I had this intuitive kind of knowing that I was going to die soon (within the next year or two). I'd never experienced anything like that before, but the feeling was so strong it made me eager to contact a couple of people from my past just to let them know how much they mean to me. I also made an extra effort to share with Charlie and my family how important they are to me.

I didn't tell too many people about my experience, not only because it was really depressing, it also sounds like the talk of a crazy woman. I did, however, share it with Erica. We were on the phone, she was trying to get dinner ready, and she was mediating a disagreement between two of her three boys when I sprang it on her. Genius that she is, she had the most insightful response: "Maybe it's not that you're going to die, Laurie. Maybe it's that you'll have a rebirth of some kind." 

I feel like that comment has helped save my life, especially during the more trying times of my treatment.  The fact that she said it before any of us knew about the "c" word makes it all the more impactful.  I leaned on it the day I got the cervical cancer diagnosis. I learned on it the day we found out the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. I'm leaning on it right now as I type this because I haven't had the greatest of weeks.  When I get scared and think the cancer isn't going away (which doesn't happen often, but it does happen), I think: "No! I'm filled with too much Love to let cancer touch me. I'm not dieing, I'm having growing pains. This is all part of my rebirth." Then I'm saved, the fear subsides and is immediately replaced by hope. And in hope springs comfort and beauty.

Here I am telling Erica how grateful I am for her wisdom, and how much I credit her for helping to save my life:

 And that, my friends, concludes this post. I'll write soon when I'm feeling a little better. For those of you out there praying for me and sending me loving energy, what I need right now are thoughts of bone marrow producing loads of white blood cells and my body making tons of red blood cells. Thank you so much. Your support is holding up right now. I love you!

Love and Light,
Laurie

P.S. - If you'd like to leave a comment, it'll be much easier if you go here instead of trying to do it through Blogger. If the link doesn't work, just go to:
https://www.mylifeline.org/lauriethrives/default.cfm?page=myupdates.cfm
Simply scroll to the bottom of the update you want to comment on and hit "comment." I love hearing from you. You're love keeps me alive!

Top Reasons Why I'm Grateful For Being Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer

I've thought long and hard about whether or not to write this post. I'm sensitive those who have been touched by cancer, and I'm concerned that this post may offend some people. We are all very different - each and every one of us - and that's one of the elements what makes this world such a wonderful place. So this post is simply my experience with cancer. In no way do I expect or believe that others on a similar walk (or "battle") should feel the same way I do. We all have different bodies, different coping mechanisms, and different backgrounds. I have friends who are downright angry about having cancer. I have friends and loved ones who are, for lack of a better word, pissed that I am having to deal with cancer.  I love and respect all of them and their experiences immensely. So just as I respect them and their choices, I ask that you respect me and mine.  I ask this because I am the opposite of angry or pissed about being diagnosed with cancer, I am, in fact, grateful beyond measure.  Here's why, in no particular order:

• All of my friendships and relationships are stronger and richer now.
• I get to fall in love with my husband all over again.
• I love myself more.
• People know me better.
• My family is making friends with my friends.
• I've met and had the privilege of being treated by some of the greatest medical professionals in the world. (I'm talking to you: Dr. Greenburg, Dr. Banta, Dr. Danforth, Debbie, Hopi, Aunt Kathy, Tim, Pam, Rachel, Shelby and Lisa.)
• I have an instant bond now with thousands and thousands of people, simply because we've all been touched by cancer.
• My life has more meaning.
• I get to inspire people.
• I get to make a difference in a new way.
• I get a free Brazilian for the duration of my treatment. (Not exactly a Brazilian, but I haven't had to do any grooming down below thanks to radiation.)
• I'm learning how to stick up for myself.
• I found Wonder Woman and Mr. Clean
• Both my sisters were able to come visit me from out of state. My dad has been down three times and my mom is coming out at the end of March. Wow! I love them and have missed them so much!
• I'm inspired to create a new dance fitness class for cancer patients and caregivers, free of charge. (Give Charlie a call at Party On! Fitness for details: 760-668-6245.)
• I get to cry tears of gratitude on a daily (mostly hourly) basis.
• Red lights don't matter. Weather doesn't matter. Most stupid things I used to complain about are completely irrelevant to me anymore.
• I'm learning how to blog and am thrilled that people are touched by my words.
• My dad is proud of me.
• My mom is proud of me.
• My husband is proud of me.
• My sisters and brother are proud of me.
• I think I'm awesome! (Not conceited awesome, but awesome like someone I'd want to be friends with.)
• I'm empowered.
• I got licensed to teach Zumba Sentao while I was going through chemo and radiation treatment - and I completed the class!
• Flowers are more beautiful to me now.
• If joy were a needle in a haystack I know I could find it.
• Only excellent, super amazing people are showing up in my life (that means all of you reading this).
• I've gotten more quality time with my cats.
• Although we've always been close, my family has gotten even closer through this experience.
• Johanna Sanches rocks my world.
• My Zumba family has held me so tightly I've felt safe every step of the way.
• No cooking, no cleaning for six weeks straight! (Not that I did much anyway, but this time it's been guilt-free!)
• (I don't even have to clean the cat box.)
• I'm getting to know my family in Iowa that I hadn't really known since I was seven years old.
• I listen to myself. 
• I trust myself to do what's best for me.
• I get to celebrate two birthdays every year.
• I'm a better Reggaeton dancer because I can finally feel the music!
• Everyday is a reason to celebrate!

This list is just the start. I'll keep adding to it as ideas pop into my head.

Again, I apologize if this post offends anyone, that is not my intention. I just want to share that I have gotten more out of being a cancer patient than cancer has gotten from me.

Love and Light,

Laurie

P.S. - If you'd like to leave a comment, it'll be much easier if you go here instead of trying to do it through Blogger. If the link doesn't work, just go to:
https://www.mylifeline.org/lauriethrives/default.cfm?page=myupdates.cfm
Simply scroll to the bottom of the update you want to comment on and hit "comment." I love hearing from you. You're love keeps me alive!